Talia, p. 64

I failed again. The first hunt, and I failed. I remember running in fear, ducking from one tree to another, always running, then nothing. Even the nightmares after have become a wisp of memory, but I remember… I remember snow… snow and fire. And when I woke, for once, I was not alone. It no longer feels strange being held, no longer feels like I’m out of place. It feels familiar, as if I’ve always been here, as if I always will. She didn’t stir this time, I didn’t move, and I drifted back to sleep.

That morning, as she went about her business, I wandered the city. It looks so different, everyone so distant. I see faces I remember, but their eyes have changed. I dozed on a bench and nearly woke screaming when someone touched my shoulder. I don’t think I know them, did they know me? I scurried away, out of the market, past the Pride, and found myself on the doorstep of the House. Why did I go there? Why did I feel drawn to it? I let myself in, only to find Cynn sternly looking over the some recruits. She was surprised, yet pleased to see me, telling me I was faster each time. I stammered, puzzled, then I heard it. Another retainer made a sending, calling me to assist, yet I was already there. I didn’t understand.

The rest is a blur; I was walking from the estate, blood on my finger where it was pricked. Shara found me in the market, and offered her hand. Then the fire was in front of us, and I drifted off to sleep. Writing this now only makes it more obvious that there are gaps, that things are missing. But I feel safer now.


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