On scars

Scars. We all have them; at least I think we all do. They can be cool, interesting. They can also be horrifying. The scars do not necessarily define us, but they can help explain us. They are like a roadmap, an index of our experiences, good and bad. They are remembrances of times when we were brave or foolish, daring or careless. Of things we have done, or had done to us. Sometimes we learn from them. Sometimes we use them to teach others. And sometimes we do neither. Some wear their scars as a badge of honor, of what they have endured or accomplished. Some hide their scars in shame, finding the memory of their pain as sharp as the moment it occurred. And sometimes, sometimes the scars fade as does the memory, but somewhere deep inside us they are still there. For better or worse, they remain a part of us. 

Vision 2020:

As with the end of every year, I looked back on what happened and what didn’t. What was planned and what wasn’t. The expected and the surprises. And after looking back for a little while, I started looking forward. To the coming weeks and months of the new year. But this year was a little different. This time I extended my focus beyond the immediate. I decided, rather than try and set those must have goals for the new year, I’d look a little further: Where do I want to be in 3 years, 5 years, 7… The things that crossed my mind don’t happen overnight. Even the decision to pursue them doesn’t happen overnight. I gave it some thought, and some more thought, and let it soak in over the first days of the year and decided I’d start cataloguing my vision for my future. Sort of an ongoing time capsule of where I see things going, in any aspect of my life.

And then, life got busy and January zoomed by. So here I am in February already finally getting the first of these thoughts down into concrete words.

Hindsight is supposedly 20/20, but I think our view of the past is influenced by our emotion of the present. As an exercise I’ve explored “what if…” I had either done or not done some key action or decision in my past. It is a surprisingly complex series of dominoes trying to follow all of the things that wouldn’t have happened, both good and bad, if key choices had not been made the path that is my past. It is hard to hold on to regrets for long when you realize all the good things that eventually come from a bad decision (hopefully).

So… what does that say to looking forward? Is it over planning? Not if adjustments are made when things turn out differently. Not if those plans remain flexible enough to adapt to the unexpected and unintentional. The next 7 years will take me to the threshold of 2020. That is a long way to project out. I certainly didn’t see a lot of today in my mind 7 years ago. However, I did have some of the pieces starting to form at that time. Do I expect this exercise to guide me directly to my intended and hoped for future? No. But it will give me a chance to look back and see where plans changed. To see where the unexpected arose, both good and bad. And most importantly to me, a place to go back to and re-evaluate the goals I hold today and see if they still apply tomorrow

So, if you’re still here and interested, check back from time to time as I update on how my life evolves over the next 7 years and beyond. We’ll start getting into the meat of things next time.


Introspection: Thoughts on Time

Time to reboot back to what is important & clear away the distractions.  Clean out the clutter & silence the noise.  Wipe the slate clean… and any other clichéd metaphor.

Somewhere along the way we lost sight, not only of our goal but of the path itself.  Dreams.  Plans.  “Maybe Someday”s.  All wandered aside.  Not really pushed, or willfully abandoned, just neglected.  Collecting dust, fading away until they were eventually forgotten.  That happens sometimes, with things, dreams, even people.  Until one day you blink and ask… “Whatever happened to _____?”  It’s a mystery, sometimes… …other time you’ve just grown beyond it.

Life has a certain hustle & bustle to it.  A current, or tide, that sweeps along.  It is easier to just let it flow and hope you end up where you want to be, but real progress requires effort.  A struggle.  It can seem easy for some, for others as you watch them passing by, but it is still work.  To better one’s life, one’s self, or the world around them requires effort.

It is the times that I stopped swimming, when I let the current whisk me along, those are the times that I felt like I was moving, but it was an illusion.  The eddies & pools of life seem to switch back on each other, and when you don’t make an effort to push ahead, you can find yourself back where you started…

… if not further behind.

So… what is important?


Art, creation… ideas.

Stability, finances… money.

Health, friendship… love.


So much of it, time.  Time.  The only real and finite resource we have.  Money seems tangible, but it is only an idea.  An agreed upon value and even that fluctuates.  We are all led to believe we need so much money.  So much of the things it can buy.  But we can’t buy time.  Not really, not yet.  We can only spend it.  We each have our own personal, finite limit of time.  But here’s the kicker, we don’t know just how much time that is.  We have guesses, estimations based on our health, family history & lifestyle.  Even the areas we choose to live & work, all of those surely factor in to that unknown duration that is ‘our time’, but no one knows for sure.

So what are you doing with your limited time?  Spending it on something you find important?  Or to have value?  You’re the judge of that, ultimately.  Even relaxation and downtime have value.

But consider this…

When you get to the end of you time…


What matters most to you?

Random thoughts and alliteration

Into the watching waves the wind wistfully wanders.

Foam frequently froths forward, following friendly flights of fancy.

Sand screams sounds of scorn and sincerity savors silence.

Peace, pleasure and pompous propensity propagates profundity.